Dharma Vahini

People refer to various Aachara Dharmas (duties, rights and obligations), but these are not the basic, Absolute Dharmas; they are only the Sutras (rules and regulations) meant for the sake of worldly living. They are not Supreme or Highest Dharmas. All these moral codes, rules of conduct, approved behaviour and accepted acts are prompted by two types of beings born — viz. Stree (Feminine) and Purusha (Masculine). They connote Prakruti (Nature or Creation with three-fold-power or three Gunas) and Paramatma (Only Dweller of everything), Jada (Inert) and Chaitanya (Consciousness). All this Creation came about by the association of Jada and Chaitanya, is it not? So too, all the various Dharmas (mores) have emerged for whose sake? What is the reason for all these Dharmas? When we enquire deeply, the answer is, on account of these two types of beings born - Stree (Feminine) and Purusha (Masculine). Therefore, the Dharma of a Stree and the Dharma of a Purusha, and their Aacharas (Practices) are the chief Dharmas for worldly perspective. Whatever is taught or demonstrated by any noble person cannot go beyond these two types. Isn’t it?

The Purusha Dharma (Dharma for the male) and Stree Dharma (Dharma for the female) are therefore the important ones. Other codes and disciplines are but auxiliary Dharmas, tributaries like the streams that meet the Godavari when it is coursing forward. You have to pay attention to the main river which is the source and not the tributaries that join it. Similarly, the chief worldly Dharmas should be taken as the basis and not the auxiliary or subsidiary Dharmas. From this, it is very evident that there are only two types of worldly Dharmas. One is Stree Dharma and the other is Purusha Dharma.

Stree Dharma (Dharma for Women):

The Feminine Principle is spoken of as the power of Bhranti (Delusion) that emerged out of the Lord (i.e., Bhranti of God), as the Shakti (Power) with which He equipped Himself out of His own Will. This is Maya (beginningless power of the Lord), the feminine form. This is why a woman is considered as Parashakti Svarupa (Embodiment of the Supreme Power). She is the faithful companion of man, his fortune. Since she is the concretisation of the Will of the Lord, she is a mystery of Creation, a wonder of wonder, the complete replica of the Macrocosm, i.e., Pindanda (Microcosm), the queen of the home, the true representative of the Maya’s (Supreme Power’s) art of administration, the fortune and illumination of the home, and the lovable ally of man. Women who are to be taken as the repositories of the Shakti Svarupa (Embodiment of Energy), are in no way inferior to man; how full of patience, fortitude, devotion and love is their nature!

They are endowed with many virtues. Their Atma-nigraha (Self-control) is seldom equalled by men. They are the exemplars and leaders to tread the spiritual path. Svartha rahita parishuddha Prema (pure, selfless Love) is an inborn quality in women. Women who are full of knowledge, are cultured, are bound by love, and who are keen on discriminating whether their words and deeds are in conformity with Dharma — such women are like the Goddess Lakshmi, bringing joy and good fortune to the home. That house where the husband and the wife are bound together by the concord of holy love, where every day both are engaged in the reading of books that feed the soul, where the name of the Lord is sung and His glory remembered — that home is really the house of the Lord, Vaikuntha! The woman who is attached to her husband by means of love is indeed a flower radiating rare perfume; she is a precious gem, shedding lustre in the family. A wife endowed with virtue is really a Chudamani (brilliant crown-jewel) for the husband.

Pativrata Dharmam (Chastity) is the ideal for womankind. By the strength derived from that virtue, they can achieve anything. Savitri was able, through that power, to win back the life of her husband, Satyavanta; she actually fought with the Lord of Death. The glorious chastity of Anasuya, the wife of sage Atri and the mother of Lord Dattatreya, is well-known. She was able to transform even the Trinity (Brahma, Vishnu and Maheshwara) into infants. Nalayani could, by the mysterious force of her chastity, stop the movement of the Sun to save the life of her leper husband.

Pativratyam (Chastity) is the crown-jewel of women. That is the virtue for which she is most extolled. Its power and beneficent consequences defy description. By means of her chastity and the power it grants, she can save herself from calamity. Chastity is the very breath of her life. She can save herself by her own efforts and wins, without doubt, even the heaven. By the power of her “word,” Damayanti burned into ashes a hunter, who attempted to misbehave with her and harm her. She stood by her husband, King Nala, through thick and thin when he lost everything and entered into a forest wearing only one piece of cloth.

Lajja (Modesty) is quite essential for a woman; it is her priceless jewel. It is against Dharma for a woman to overstep the limits of modesty; besides, crossing the limits brings about many calamities. Why, the very glory of womanhood will be destroyed. Without modesty, woman appears devoid of beauty and culture. Anakuva (Humility), Vinaya Vidheyata (Good manners), Komalatva (Meekness), Sadhutva (Sensitivity of feelings, surrender to high ideals) and Madhuratva (sweetness of temper) - Lajja is the peculiar blend of all these qualities. It is the most invaluable of all the jewels of women.

The modest woman will ever keep within limits through her Yauchitya Bhavana (innate sense of propriety). She becomes automatically aware about which is proper behaviour and which is improper. She will stick only to virtuous deeds and behaviour. Modesty is the true test of a woman’s grandeur.

If a woman has no modesty, she is injuring the interests of womanhood itself, besides undermining her own personality. Such a woman is like a fragranceless flower, which the world does not cherish or honour, or even approve. The absence of modesty makes life, for a woman, however rich in other virtues, a waste and a vacuum. Modesty lifts her to the heights of sublime holiness. The modest woman wields authority in the home and outside, in the community as well as in the world.

Some might interrupt and ask, “But, women who have swallowed all the compunctions of modesty are being honoured today! They strut about with heads erect and the world honours them not a whit less.” I have no need to acquaint Myself with such activities of the present-day world. I do not concern Myself with them. They may be receiving honour and respect of a sort, but that respect is not authorised or deserved. That is to say, when honour is offered to the undeserving, it cannot be considered as true honour. To even consider such honour as true honour is tantamount to treachery. It is not honour, but flattery that is cast on the immodest. It is like a spittle - dirty and unpleasant.

Of course, the modest woman will not crave for honour, fame or praise. Her attention will always be on the limits which she should not transgress. Honour and praise come to her unasked and unnoticed. The honey in the flower or lotus does not crave for bees; they do not plead with the bees to come. Since the bees have tasted that sweetness, they themselves search for the flowers and rush in. The cause for their coming is the association between themselves and sweetness. So too is the relationship between the woman who knows her limits and the respect or honour she evokes. The modest, noble woman will not crave for honour. That is Atma Dharma.

If a frog sits on a lotus and proclaims that fact to the world proudly, does it mean that it has tasted or drunk the nectar present in that lotus flower? Does it at least know about the presence of nectar contained in the lotus flower? No. Today, the women who are sitting on the piles of ‘name and fame’ or ‘honour’ are like the frogs. They neither know the inner meaning, the true Dharma latent in those honours, the value hidden in them, nor do they have faith or respect in those honours. So, how can we regard that as “honour” or “respect”? No, no. It can only be called “non-honour disease.”

The principle of Atma Dharma will not allow the term “woman” to be applied to “a woman without modesty.” If respect and honour are heaped upon a person who does not follow Atma Dharma, it is like heaping decorations on a body that has no life. Will the soul that has left the body enjoy the decorations heaped or the respect shown to the corpse? So too, if a person who is unaware of the Yathartha (Reality), who has not experienced the Atma (true Self), is crowned with fame and glory, who derives joy therefrom?

Not bending before such meaningless honours and willing to sacrifice or offer one’s own life for upholding Atma-gauravam (Self-respect) is the characteristic of a modest woman. That characteristic makes her the Lakshmi (Lustre) of the home. That is why the wife is referred to as Gruha-Lakshmi - lustre or radiance of the home. If the wife has no such mark, the home becomes the seat of ugliness.

Woman is the prop of the home and of tradition. She is the root cause either for the sustenance or destruction of the traditions. Women have a marvellous natural aptitude towards traditions. Women with Bhakti (Devotion), Vishwasa (Faith), and Vinaya (Meekness) can lead men on to the Godward path and the practice of holy virtues. They wake up early, before dawn, clean the home, and after finishing bath, etc., sit down for a while engaged in Japam (repetition of the name of God) and Dhyanam (Meditation). They will have in their homes, one small room set apart for the worship of the Lord. They will place there, images of the Lord as well as pictures of holy sages, great devotees and of wise Gurus and guides. They consider the room especially sacred and fill the atmosphere with their prayers both morning and evening, as well as with special Prarthanas (Prayers), Pujas (Worship), Bhajans (Devotional singing) and Harati (a ritual of offering lighted camphor to a Deity) on holy days and festivals. A woman who is steadfastly doing these will be able to transmute even her atheist husband, persuading him to join the prayers or engage in some good activity or some scheme of social service marked by an attitude of dedication to the Lord. Indeed, it is the woman who really maintains and governs the home; that is her Dharma (Duty). They are truly the manifestation of Shakti (Divine feminine power).

On the other hand, if the wife tries to pull the husband from the Godward path, from the spiritual to the level of the sensual, or if the husband treats the wife - who is disposed to seek joy from her spiritual endeavour, as a person following the wrong track and tries to drag her away from it to the level of the sensual, the home constituted of such a couple is unworthy of that name. It is hell, not a home; it is an inferno where ghosts and evil spirits revel.

Really, woman should devote to her Dharma. For that, she should strive to achieve Atma-jnanam (the knowledge of the soul) and live every moment in the consciousness of her being only the Atman; she must evince always, a desire to become one with Bhagavachchaitanyam (Divine consciousness). The home where the woman is such and where both the husband and the wife are leading their lives in the shade of great ideals, where they together sing the glory of the name of the Lord and spend themselves in good deeds, where there reigns Satya (Truth), Prema (Love) and Shanti (Peace), where regular reading of holy books is done, where the senses are under control, and where there is equal treatment for all creation prompted by the knowledge of the basic unity of all creation and the expressions of love — such a home is certainly Heaven on Earth and a wife with such a nature is a wife worth the name.

A true Gruha-Lakshmi is the one whose heart is bounden with real love towards her husband. She must be faithful to her husband. Then only is she regarded as a true Illalu (Housewife or Mistress of a house) and a Dharma-patni (Ideal, Dharmic wife). She is the source of Dharma, Artha (Wealth) and Kama (Desire). She who knows the mind of her husband and speaks softly and sweetly, is not only a wife, sometimes, when she also has to point out the path of Dharma to the husband, she takes on the role even of a father! And when the husband is down with illness, she is the mother.

Woman must accord first place to the service, the will, the command of her husband; that is the true worship for her. Her prayers, worship, and spiritual exercises can wait for the second place. Without satisfying the husband, she cannot attain bliss in worship or meditation.

As a matter of fact, the Lord must be welcomed as represented in the husband, and all service rendered to him must be elevated to the level of worship; that is the true path of Dharma a wife must recognise and follow. If every Aachara Dharma is performed with an underlying objective of Atmartha (Self-realisation, purpose of life), then all such activities become dedicated to the Lord and eventually result in Liberation.

It does not matter how bad or low the husband is; the wife must make him happy, strive to turn him into a virtuous one, and help him gain the blessings of the Lord. It is not correct for her to feel that her progress alone matters, and she has no concern in his improvement or uplift. She must feel, on the other hand, that the welfare of the husband, the joy of the husband, the wishes of the husband, the salvation of the husband, these are the panacea for her also. Such a woman will receive the grace of the Lord, automatically without special effort. Grace will be showered upon her; the Lord will always be by her side and be kind to her in all ways. By her virtue, she will ensure even the salvation of her husband.